The Accidental Crew Cut

I have been going to the same kids' hair salon, Melonheads, since my very first haircut. Ate M books an appointment for me every other month and it is always business as usual during our visits there.

This time, however, a new stylist was working and when M came back from the ladies room, they had completely shaved my head down the middle, much to M's horror.

In all honesty, I couldn't care less, but M, Mom and Dad were slightly disturbed by my accidental crew cut.

If only I was born a couple of decades earlier, I could have joined the cast of a Few Good Men. I would have fit in perfectly as a hardcore Marine stationed at Gitmo (aka Guantanamo Bay for you laypersons). I could recite the Gitmo Marine Code of “Unit. Core. God. Country.”

In fact, when Mom first saw my haircut she kept picturing me as a little Keifer Sutherland (Lieutenant Jonathan Kendrick) sparring with Tom Cruise (Lieutenant Junior Grade Daniel Kaffee) when they meet in the movie for the first time…

Kaffee (Tom): Lieutenant Kendrick- may I call you John?
Kendrick (me): No, you may not.
Kaffee (Tom): Have I done something to offend you?
Kendrick (me): No, I like all you Navy boys. Anytime we gotta go someplace to fight, you fellas always give us a ride.

All I need are the aviator glasses and I would have been a spitting image of Keifer. And when my hair grows back fully I can graduate to being Jack Bauer!