As you can see by this picture, the Zingbot is some dude dressed up in a really bad robot outfit and serves one purpose only: to make a series of jokes (normally in the form of one liners) at the expense of all those who are currently taking up residence in the Big Brother house.
In other words, he delivers ‘zingers’ to each of the houseguests.
The zingers are dispensed by the Zingbot in his really annoying mechanical sounding voice and, at the end of each comical affront, he says “ZING!!”
Since mom has broken her ankle, she has been the recipient of some really good zingers. And mom appreciates a witty joke, especially those at her own expense
Comic relief is certainly in order in situations like mom’s… which is why she wants to acknowledge her favourite zingers from the last two weeks and the people she loves and respects who delivered them flawlessly.
Congrats to everyone who made the list, the Zingbot 3000 would be proud. Here are the top 6:
AT NUMBER 6: LEAH
On Halloween night Sarah arrives at our front door in her own crutches. Leah opens the door, gives her a hug, points at mom (and mom’s crutches) and says “Happy Halloween Sarah. Go pick a spot in cripple corner and just tell me what you need.” Leah’s unspoken commentary was probably something along the lines of… it’s no problem really, I’ll just be over here looking after these 4 sugar-crazed kids… ZING!
AT NUMBER 5: LIA
After mom very ungracefully walks down a few steps in a crowded Starbucks, Lia looks at her and in a deadpan voice (loud enough for passersbys to hear) says “Really? That is how you walk down stairs? I would be a bad friend if I didn’t tell you that you look completely ridiculous.” ZING!
AT NUMBER 4: DR. FAULKNER (mom’s orthopaedic surgeon)
During mom’s first appointment with the Dr. Faulkner, he glances at her file and says “Just so I am clear, you were playing football in a hurricane? Is that right? So then are you going into the Draft or should I just treat you as a normal patient?” ZING!
AT NUMBER 3: LUKE (mom’s boss)
Luke comes by mom’s desk on her first day back in the office, picks up her small crutch and says “Katie, is this a child’s crutch? Are you going as Tiny Tim in the Christmas Parade?” ZING! Yes, mom’s short.
AT NUMBER 2: BRIAN (Me!)
Mom was walking me to the bus stop and, in the distant, I spot my bus stop rival Elliot running down the opposite sidewalk, clearly determined to race and beat me for the coveted first spot at the bus. I then yell at him “Elliot! Hey Elliot! No need to run man. My mom is broken. You can walk really slowly and still beat me.” ZING!
And finally the Zingbot 3000 winner…
NUMBER 1: PAPA JOHN
Upon hearing that mom broke her foot, Papa John sends her a text message that says “Please tell me that the cast covers your toes!”
ZZZZZIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!
Btw – everyone who has seen mom’s toes are laughing right now.
2 comments:
For the record, I also said nice things. As I indulged a long, slow procession through BV, looking into every Xmas display, I said that "I had to take you to Starbucks because you can't say no to a cripple, much like you can't say no to a pregnant woman"
All the zingers are great but i liked the doctor!! If the draft was a possibility I would feel better about the reason you would keep playing!
Post a Comment